May 6, 2009

it's been long enough since my last update, huh?

this layout was created using a scarlet lime kit
i did some machine sewing and loved
using those rub on stickers.

they have such a pretty glossy feel to them!

this layout was created using a studio calico kit.
on this one i used the stamps to create borders. i also
did some machine sewing on this layout!

in other news:

tennis lessons
cross country for kids
milk jug bird feeders hung
seeds to be planted
the uglies trilogy
(searching for the extras in paperback)
beginning a new book (the host)
new starbucks coffee mugs
bare hardwood flooring
new (old) dining chairs
crochet soiree (dot com)
diet cherry vanilla dr pepper
new haircuts for the whole family

six days til my 30th!!!
i am thinking of highlighting my hair.
and i have made a little mental list

like new pink sneakers (for running)
a pretty vintage necklace
a mixer
a hanging basket for my deck
and a pedi would be the cherry on top!

we shall see!

thirty is supposed to be my year.
i have all these great ambitions
and goals that i have set for myself
to have achieved by the time i turned thirty.
most of them i have been working on &
some i have been not-so-good about
but being honest about this is the first part for me.

i want to live healthier
i want to have a job that i love
i want to save money
own our own home
finish my dental work

i wish the dental work wasn't so difficult for me.
it's mostly fear
i have had route canal after route canal
and truthfully i am so tired of dealing with this.
i just want to be finished
i just want my beautiful smile back.

on my 11th birthday i was in a bicycle accident
i cracked three of my front teeth
and had to have them all crowned.
so i have been dealing with this for the past 14 years.
pretty unbelievable! i have to say though,
most of those years have been problem free
and until the past year or so
i have not had problems that have effected me
as much, physically, or emotionally.

since the accident i have had
6 route canals, four being on one tooth.
we have finally got the issue under control.
but now i face one more step closer to what i have
been waiting for.
i have to have one of the front teeth extracted
so that a bridge can be made.
overall, this is the best option because cosmetically, i will benefit.
all three teeth will be molded to match each other.
and it is the most economic, as the insurance will cover
a large amount.
but just the thought of having a front tooth extracted
places a lot of fear in me.
the waiting for the molds to be done and
the actual bridge to be made is frightening.
i will have to have a temporary tooth to fill in the gap.
i have had nightmares about this. what if it falls out?
what if it looks really out of place?
what if the insurance company gives us
a hard time and i am stuck with this
temporary tooth for weeks or months?


i know that it has to be done
and i have finally found a wonderful dentist
who i trust and
who i know understands how i feel about all of this
even though it's been a long haul,
i know that she is going to do what is in the best interest
of me and not just her pocket.

i can actually see the light at the end of the tunnel.
i know that i can't let this be an issue for me any longer.
i know that this will give me great self-confidence.
and i know that this will change many areas of my life
for the better.

if you actually got through this-
please know that i had to get this down.
for the sake of documenting my goals and my fears
i am getting there. i am working on them


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