when i was a little girl i always knew that i wanted to be
a mommy.
what i never knew was just how rewarding
being a mother is.
my own mother was not always there for me,
which has taught me a good lesson
on what kind of mommy
i need to be.


yesterday evening i sat down at the table with
my two beautiful children
and we each made a list

mine:

1. every day i ask myself,
"what can i do to make you better people?"
(you always come first)
2. every hug & kiss is filled with so much love.
even the little squeezes and pecks n the cheek.
(of course, smooches & bear hugs are too!)
3. i always see the best in each of you. yes, even
when we are having a tough day.
(you both have those eyes that get me
every time)
4. showing you how to do things and watching
you learn with such curiosity is
one of my most favorite things to do with you.
(this makes each and every day
an adventure that i look forward to)
5. when i wish you "sweet dreams",
i really do wish you the sweetest dreams of all.
(my sweet smelling babies in jammies
truly makes me melt)



monet:
i love mommy because
1. she loves me
2. she's cute
3. she is nice
4. and pretty
5. loving
6. caring
7. joyful
8. wondrous
9. awesome
10. rockin'



jaden:
i love mommy because
1. she helps me with my chores
2. she loves me
3. she helps me on the computer
4. she helps me learn to skateboard
5. she loves when i bring her flowers
6. she give me the best presents
7. she helps me roller-skate
8. she is so pretty, prettier than a rainbow
9. she is a great homework helper
10. she shared her diet cherry vanilla dr. pepper with me



cinnamon buns, flowers, hanging plant, painted toenails,
rings, handmade gifts, dinner, time, snuggles,
help with housework, and cards

this make me feel so blessed to have such loving and
thoughtful children who love me so much




lastly,

on friday we spent some time snapping new photos of my
sweet girl! she just colors my world!



ps: tomorrow is my big 30!
i can't believe it!


xoxo
jessica

it's been long enough since my last update, huh?




this layout was created using a scarlet lime kit
i did some machine sewing and loved
using those rub on stickers.
they have such a pretty glossy feel to them!





this layout was created using a studio calico kit.
on this one i used the stamps to create borders. i also
did some machine sewing on this layout!

in other news:

tennis lessons
cross country for kids
milk jug bird feeders hung
seeds to be planted
the uglies trilogy
(searching for the extras in paperback)
beginning a new book (the host)
new starbucks coffee mugs
bare hardwood flooring
new (old) dining chairs
crochet soiree (dot com)
diet cherry vanilla dr pepper
new haircuts for the whole family

six days til my 30th!!!
i am thinking of highlighting my hair.
and i have made a little mental list

like new pink sneakers (for running)
a pretty vintage necklace
a mixer
a hanging basket for my deck
and a pedi would be the cherry on top!

we shall see!

thirty is supposed to be my year.
i have all these great ambitions
and goals that i have set for myself
to have achieved by the time i turned thirty.
most of them i have been working on &
some i have been not-so-good about
but being honest about this is the first part for me.

i want to live healthier
i want to have a job that i love
i want to save money
own our own home
finish my dental work

i wish the dental work wasn't so difficult for me.
it's mostly fear
i have had route canal after route canal
and truthfully i am so tired of dealing with this.
i just want to be finished
i just want my beautiful smile back.


on my 11th birthday i was in a bicycle accident
i cracked three of my front teeth
and had to have them all crowned.
so i have been dealing with this for the past 14 years.
pretty unbelievable! i have to say though,
most of those years have been problem free
and until the past year or so
i have not had problems that have effected me
as much, physically, or emotionally.

since the accident i have had
6 route canals, four being on one tooth.
we have finally got the issue under control.
but now i face one more step closer to what i have
been waiting for.
i have to have one of the front teeth extracted
so that a bridge can be made.
overall, this is the best option because cosmetically, i will benefit.
all three teeth will be molded to match each other.
and it is the most economic, as the insurance will cover
a large amount.
but just the thought of having a front tooth extracted
places a lot of fear in me.
the waiting for the molds to be done and
the actual bridge to be made is frightening.
i will have to have a temporary tooth to fill in the gap.
i have had nightmares about this. what if it falls out?
what if it looks really out of place?
what if the insurance company gives us
a hard time and i am stuck with this
temporary tooth for weeks or months?

ugh!!


i know that it has to be done
and i have finally found a wonderful dentist
who i trust and
who i know understands how i feel about all of this
even though it's been a long haul,
i know that she is going to do what is in the best interest
of me and not just her pocket.

i can actually see the light at the end of the tunnel.
i know that i can't let this be an issue for me any longer.
i know that this will give me great self-confidence.
and i know that this will change many areas of my life
for the better.

if you actually got through this-
please know that i had to get this down.
for the sake of documenting my goals and my fears
i am getting there. i am working on them

xoxo
jessica